Heart of a Killer
by XxXGloomXxX
Summary: Fang's past comes back to haunt him. Why did they school take Max, and what do they want from Fang and why do they want it so bad? And what is Fang keping from Iggy. FAXNESS! used to be Chaos ride's story
1. Chapter 1

My past set me apart from everyone else, even the rest of the flock.

Sure, we had all grown up in the School, but I had been through so much more.

I was raised to be a killer, the next breed of extirminator.

Then I met Max, and Jeb busted us out.

"Fang what are you still doing up?" Iggy's rough voice questioned sleepily from across the hotel room. I still hear Gazzy's snoft snores, signaling only Ig knows I'm , Angel and Nudge are sharing the hotel room next to us.

"Just can't sleep. Go back to bed." I reply softly.

" I am in bed, but yes, I think I will go back to sleep."

The blanket rustled and after about five minutes, his breathing slows.

Dark and rainy, it's nights like these that remind me of my past. The sins that will never leave my mind, the blood that will never wash off my hands, my broken soul that will never be mended. Even here I am an outcast, never really having a place. I'm not meant to be here.

I'm not meant to be alive.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning it was still raining, but it wasmore of a drizzle really. We decided to stay at the hotel one more night, and take a 'mini-vacation' as Max called it.

The kids spent the day lounging about languibly, and me, Max and Iggy watched television,

Nudge was acting rather odd, though. The usually garrulous girl was staring off into space and only adding her thoughts every once and a while. No one seemed to notice besides me though.

Suddenly the hotel room shook, the lights flickered, and then everything was black. The tinkling sound o breaking glass reached my ears, then Angeled screamed, it was a loud, shrilling sound full of terror and panic.

A flutter of movement, a sharp crack, a strangled cry.

The lights came back on. Iggy was holding his arm, which had a gash down the inside, Angel was sobbing into her hands, Gazzy was pale, and Nudge remained silent.

Max was no where to be seen.

"Fang! Why didn't you do something?" Iggy screamed, his body trembleming with rage.

"I couldn't see. I might havehit Max." I replied in a steady voice.

Angel started sobbing harder, and Nudge snapped out of her daze.

"Where could they have taken her? California's on the other coast, and I don't think they took her bck to Germany. The place in Florida's all torn up. What if they did take her to Germany? Fang, Iggy what are we going to do? We can't just leave Max! Guys!? Wh-"

"Nudge calm down," Iggy ordered, though the sterness was slightly weakened with how the way his voice cracked on the word 'down', and how his unseeing eyes were fillied with tears, but he swallowed his sorrow and told the kids to get ready to go.

I knew where they took Max, and why, but I was not telling the flock that.


	3. Chapter 3

I have to apologize. To everyone . To those of you who read my writing and wasted your time on them.

Quite frankly, I'm sorry because, I'm not going to finish them, because the quality of that work, isn't me anymore, because I grew up.

I'm not going to finish these stories. I don't want anyone to have them either. That may be disappointing to you guys, but in the end, it's my choice. The reason why, I haven't written for them, in years or months, is because I couldn't. I lost interest. I was depressed. I gained friends and I lost friends. I watched everything around me fall apart. I almost died, twice. I moved. I lost both of my closest friends because they were told that their love was wrong, and I wasn't there as always to pick up the pieces. I lost myself. I found myself and got lost again. I lived in different worlds. I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. I figured out my sexuality. I was outed to the school. I came out to my mother, to my friends. I was bullied, picked on and abused. I hated myself. I found music. I found friends, and began to trust my family again. I started to move forward instead of back. I'm making goals, I want to go places, do things, be happy. It's a slow, uphill, demanding process, but I'm getting there.

I'm not giving away these stories, because, there is too much of me in them. Because they document my struggles, even if you couldn't see them in the writing, they are there. I'm sorry that you guys are going to be disappointed, but I'm not sorry that I'm giving them up.

I want all of you to know, that there is nothing to be afraid of. That you have to want, in order to live. There is no sense in being like everyone else, because then, you're a part of "everyone" and not you. Pick what you want to be a part of and don't follow blindly. There are people who love you. And even if you haven't found them yet, there will be people who accept you for you. Who won't give a damn and who will be there for you, through everything, as long as you're there for them too. But you have to persevere , because that's the only way you'll come out, stronger, happier, open-minded and understanding. That's the only way, that you'll get to experience life as it is. Life passes too quickly for you to give up. And if you can't find anyone, I'm here.

AJA 12/30/12


End file.
